You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
