I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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