I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
