STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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