But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
