New invention idea: vibrating tampons
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
