i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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