Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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