no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
