he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
