I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
