Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
