I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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