i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
