We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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