I think I am morally bankrupt
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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