How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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