discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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