So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
