My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
