Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
