Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
