He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
