so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
