She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just had sex on a roof
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
