Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize