you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We left the knife in your bed.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
