I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
