and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
