Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
