Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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