plz talk dirty to me
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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