I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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