There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Let's get the cat blown out
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
