So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
