better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
