from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
