i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
