I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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