So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Alive.
So much puke
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
