dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
