and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
