D3 body, D1 cock
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
