My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Randomize
