Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
His nipple licking is glorious
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