just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
