super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
