Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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