apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
