It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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