he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
