She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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