apparently the secret to your success is patron
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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