oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
