I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
