you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
