That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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