ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I understand Curling. That high.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I did not marry a roomba.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
