I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
