He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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