FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
