I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
