I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
