so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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