Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
