pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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