i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
